Growing up, I always thought I was fat....even though I wasn't, but, unfortunately, I couldn't see the reality. In reality, for my last two years of high school, I weighed less than 110 pounds, and I only remember that because to give blood you had to weigh, at least, 110 pounds, and when the blood drives came to our school I couldn't give because I didn't weigh enough. I think, I weighed 106, but when I looked in the mirror I saw fat legs, and fat arms. I really, really did. I was always so self-conscious about my body, and I never thought I was thin, but I looked like this in high school (these pics were scanned so they aren't the greatest quality):
I saw fat!! Really?? Where?? It's so sad that I didn't appreciate and enjoy that body.
In college, instead of the freshman 15, I gained more like the freshman 45, or 50. And that extra weight was alot on my 5'1" frame, and I really felt horrible about myself with all that extra weight. By the time I quit college, after going for 3 years, I probably weighed about 150-155, and I looked like this (that's my dad w/ me):
I felt HUGE being 150 pounds, but when I look at that picture now - it doesn't seem all that bad! Eventually, I lost about 20 pounds, and got down to around 135, and this is how I looked in 1997, right before I started to gain all the weight that led to my obesity (me w/ my hubby - then boyfriend):
So, yea, I was, pretty much, delusional all those years to believe I was I a really big, fat person! Unfortunately, my delusions became my reality, and now I really am a fat person. Oh, how I wish I still looked like I did in the above pics! I know I'll never be 106 pounds again, and that's okay, but I would love to get back to 135 pounds. I know if I can get there, again, I will appreciate it much more than I did the first time around!
Exericse today: Walked 1 mile, and did about 10 minutes of strength training with the dumbbells. Not alot, but it's something.