Wednesday, June 22, 2011

**Day 173**

WARNING:  This post is about sex (kind of), so you might not want to read it.  Dad, you, definitely, don't need to read it, so X out of the blog, right now!

Confession #3 - I haven't seen my husband during sex in years!  Since becoming obese I am a lights out only gal!  No lights allowed, and, I mean, it's gotta be pitch black.  Seriously, sometimes it can take up to 30 seconds for me and the hubby to find each other.  And that's not all - I have to have a sheet, completely, wrapped around my mid-section during sex because the thought of all my fat rolls touching my husband makes me cringe.  It's ridiculous, I know, and my husband thinks I'm crazy, but I can't get past it.  And I won't even get into the positions I won't do anymore because of how self-conscious I am, and, well, because some positions just aren't as easy as they were when I was thinner!  So, for almost 14 years, my hubby has had to put up with this nonsense from me!  Gosh, he's a good guy!  But it's so wrong that I've put us through this - I guess, it just goes to show how low my self-esteem is.  I need to learn to love myself as I am, but it's hard.  I hope, as I continue to lose weight, I'll get the courage to, at least, turn a night-light on.  And I'm sure my hubby can't wait for me to be more adventurous, again.....actually, I can't wait either!


  1. I'm writing about sex this week too - something I think more people should write about, because it's one of the best NSVs!

  2. Shannon, thank you for posting all of these confessions. I could have written them as well. Seriously. My hubby and I haven't even had sex for a very long time. Mostly due to my insecurities. And because I'm always so tired, which I am sure is partly having a toddler, but more that I'm heavy and get tired easy.

    Thank you for sharing and your honesty. It really makes me realize I'm not alone.