Thursday, June 23, 2011

**Day 174**

Confession #4 - For a long time, I preferred the company of food over people.  I'm sure this is no big surprise - I think, it's a very common issue for obese people, or anyone dealing with food issues.  Anyway, there was a time when all I could think about was food - morning, noon, and night.  I would wake up, and think about what I was going to eat.  While I was eating my not-even-close to healthy breakfast, I would be thinking about what I was going to have for lunch, AND then dinner.  When I was in bed at night, I would be thinking about what I was going to eat the next day.  I didn't want to be with people - I just wanted to be alone to eat.  I used to hide food from my hubby.  I would go grocery shopping, and buy something, like a box of Swiss Cake Rolls, and then hide it in the car.  I would pretend to watch TV with my hubby, but, really, I was thinking about the Swiss Cake Rolls in the car.  I would, sometimes, even try to get my hubby to go to bed early!  I would start in with the - "Oh, Babe, you look so tired - you should go to bed early tonight!"....yea, I was pretty pathetic.  Once he went to bed I would run for that box of Swiss Cake Rolls - there were times I ate the whole box in one sitting, I swear.  The whole thing was sick.  I should have been cherishing the time with my hubby, but, nope, I just wanted him out of the way so I could eat.  So sad.  This scenario played out in my home more times than I care to admit, but I'm happy to say that I'm not doing this anymore, and I haven't for a long time, and I hope I never get to such a low point again.

Exercise today:  30 Day Shred, and another treadmill workout - 1 mile walk w/ some running bursts, and then a 1 mile run.

Tomorrow morning is weigh-in, and I don't think I'll be below 220, but, I think, I'll be close!

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