**Day 204**

I've been eating like crap the last couple days.  It started with going out to eat after my race Thursday night.  We ordered a couple appetizers - mozzarella sticks and breaded mushrooms, and then I had a pork chop sandwich and some fries.  Of course, my thinking was - I deserve it after running that race!.  Seriously, why am I so stupid?  Shouldn't I be so over this kind of thinking by now?!  I mean, really - I've been working my butt off, and then I go out and eat that crap, like it's some kind of reward for me.  So ridiculous!  Then it just snowballed.....one night of bad eating turned into another day of bad eating, and then another, and tonight I sit here wondering how I let this happen.  I got lazy.  I have no excuse.  I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyway.  I have to stop it - NOW!  It would be so easy for me to just keep going on like this because, well, I'm tired.  Tired of thinking about exercising all the time.  Tired of thinking about what to eat, and what not to eat.  Tired of thinking about how many calories something/everything contains.  Tired of thinking about my next weigh-in.  Tired of thinking about the 90 pounds I still need to lose!!!  So, yes, it would be easier to give up, but I can't.  I won't.  I had a rough couple of days, but tomorrow is a new day, and I will do better.  I'm going to get back to doing what I know I need to do.  And, really, I don't want to give up.  I want to succeed.  I want to reach my goal.  I really do.  And I will - I know it.