Weight today - 229.5
So, it's not good. I've done alot of damage. And my first instinct is to say ~ Screw it! I'll just do whatever this month, and start again in January! But I'm not going to do that because I have no doubt that I if I eat like shit, and don't exercise, for the whole month of December I will gain the 19 pounds I have lost, and then I'll be starting from square one come Jan. 1st. I've been gaining since July, and I need to stop!!
It's so hard to understand why I can't lose this weight when it's something I want so badly. It, truly, boggles my mind, but I'm so tired of talking about it. I'm tired of blogging about my failures, and I'm sure you're all tired of hearing about it! I did so well the first six months of this year - I was so in the zone! Then, for some reason, I just lost my motivation, and I went back to my usual cycle of doing great for three days, and then, totally, sucking for four days, and around and around I went - it's so frustrating! But I know I can lose weight - I did it for 6 months, and I just need to get back there.
So, I have a huge weight loss goal for December. I'm crazy to even attempt it because, really, who the hell tries to lose a bunch of weight in December?? But I need the challenge!! I need a plan!! I need to go into the new year with a loss!! My goal is to have December be the month with my biggest loss. Right now, January is the winner - I lost 11.5 pounds in January. So, my goal for December is to lose 12 pounds. I can do this! Yes, I've gained and gained for the last few months, but I can make this goal happen if I want it enough. Do I? I do! I know, you're all, probably, thinking that this is not going to happen, but come on - double dog dare me to do it!! No, triple dog dare me!!
I'm heading down to my treadmill!