Thursday, May 26, 2011

**Day 146**

 Have you ever felt invisible as a obese person?  I've lived life as a thin person, and I've lived life as an obese person - as an obese person, I, often, feel invisible.  It seems the larger I got, the less people noticed me.  Like, when I'm out to eat w/ my sister (who is thin) there have been quite a few times when the waiter or waitress will really only focus on my sister when talking about the specials or whatever.  Or when I need help in a department store - do you think a clerk is coming up to me to ask I need anything?  No way.  I have to, practically, jump in front of them to get them to see me.  I don't know - maybe it's me, and I'm just being overly-sensitive, but I don't think so.  I've noticed it in social settings.  I've noticed it with doctors.  I've noticed it in many areas of my life.  I was treated better as a thin person, but I really shouldn't be surprised by that, should I?  And I'm not - it just sucks, and it's not a great feeling when it happens.  Just another good reason to lose this weight, right?!

I'm thinking about holding off until the last day of this month (May 31) to do my final weigh-in for the month.  That's the deadline for the bet I have going with my dad - if I get to a certain weight by May 31st, he'll pay for half my treadmill.  The other reason I want to put off the final weigh-in is because we'll be spending the long weekend at our cabin, and when we're there I have a hard time sticking to my food plan.   So, I'm thinking if I know I have to weigh-in on Tuesday morning (the day after we'll return from our cabin) it will help me to make better food choices all weekend!  I know I should be able to do it anyway, but when we're at the cabin it always feels like a mini-vacation, and, well, I like to let loose, and eat whatever I want when I'm on vacation!!  I know, I know - I can't allow myself to do that anymore.  Colleen said it best in this post on her blog - "I plan to focus on the experience, not the food".  That's what I'm going to do this weekend, and, hopefully, I'll end the month of May w/ an awesome loss!

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow.  I'm going to talk to her about the weight I've lost this year (so far), my eating habits, my meds for my PCOS - I just want to touch base with her, and get her advice on what I'm doing.  

Does anyone else have any big plans for the weekend?  Are you worried about making poor food choices?


  1. Enjoy your weekend! And I do like the idea of enjoying the experience... not the food! I think most of us connect food with the experience, but it really isn't an important part of it.. it's the people we are with. :)

  2. Yes, yes, YES! To the invisibility thing. You're so right. It's like people don't want to look at obese people. I actually find myself wondering when people will start looking at me more. I wonder what I'll have to weigh to get more attention from strangers in social settings. I do remember being thin(ner) and people just randomly starting up convos with me and such. Doesn't happen now. Bah!

    I'm debating doing my final weigh-in on the 31st too...makes the most sense to/for me.

    Have fun on the holiday. And do make it more about the fun than the food. It's a GREAT way to set your mind. ;)