**Day 149**

I received a call from a close family member this afternoon who was upset about something going on at home, and then I got upset, too, but there was really nothing I could do to fix the problem, so when I got off the phone I was really down, and, of course, the first thing I wanted to do was some emotional eating, and the last thing I wanted to do was exercise (which I hadn't done yet).   When I get stressed, I eat....well, that's what I used to do.  I'll never forget the time we lost our dog for four days, and four nights.  I was a mess the whole time he was gone, but then we, finally, found him, and when we got back home I, immediately, went to the kitchen and scarfed down two Swiss Cake Rolls!  After the four days and four nights of being sick with worry, and then the sudden feeling of happiness and relief - I needed something to calm me, and those two Swiss Cake Rolls calmed me.  I knew then what an emotional eater I was, and how much I depended on food.  Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, I don't want to need food in that negative way anymore, so after I got off the phone with my family member I did NOT go to the kitchen to binge.  Instead, I exercised.  I did WATP 2 miles, and I did my new Firm workout DVD.  And when I was done working out I was still upset about the phone call, but the urge to fill up myself with nasty, junk food was gone.  I had a protein shake, and some fruit for dinner.  I'm proud of myself.

We don't have a scale here at the cabin, so I've been going a little nuts not being able to weigh myself, but maybe it's a good thing.  At home, I get on my scale, sometimes, more than once a day, but I need to stop obsessing over the numbers!  Much easier said than done!

It's suppose to be really hot here tomorrow - 93 degrees - and my girls want to go to the pool, which means  they're, probably, going to want me to get into a swimsuit.  Ugg!  I don't want to let them down.  My hubby always swims with them, but they like me to get into the pool, too, but I almost never do.  When we're on our boat out on the lake I always swim with them because we anchor the boat and it's just us swimming, so no biggie.  However, being at the pool or the beach, around a bunch of people, is much harder for me, but, again, I hate saying no to my girls when they want me to swim with them, so I'm going to try to force myself to just suck it up, and swim - no matter who sees me in my suit!!!