**Day 172**

Confession #2 - I couldn't have another baby because I was obese.  Yes, PCOS can lead to infertility, but if I had fought harder to control my weight I may have been able to get pregnant again.  I did have PCOS when when we had our eldest daughter, but I became pregnant with no problem - my doctor later said that it was "just a fluke" that I got pregnant, at all. WTF?  Anyway, when I got pregnant the first time I probably weighed around 215, but when I tried to have a second baby I was about 240, and it just wasn't happening for us.  I knew losing some weight might make it easier to get pregnant, and I did try to lose, but I just couldn't do it.  I wanted another baby more than anything, but I still couldn't take the weight off - physically, mentally, or emotionally.  It doesn't make sense, I know.

So, we tried to get pregnant for three years - for two and half of those years we did fertility treatments.  My hubby gave me shots in the butt, and I took other drugs by mouth.  I had my blood taken, I had transvaginal ultrasounds, I had IUI's - more times than I can count, but nothing worked.  I, sometimes, felt like I was going to lose my mind - it was such an emotional roller coaster.  And finding support was hard.  People would say, "Well, at least, you have one child!"  People would say, "Secondary infertility is easier to handle than Primary infertility!".  Yes, we were lucky enough to have one child, and I WAS grateful for that, but we wanted another one, and I didn't think we were being selfish for wanting to add to our family.  Anyway, I got to the point where I couldn't do one more fertility treatment.  Our insurance would have paid for IVF, but I was done.

In January of 2004 we decided to adopt internationally - we picked the country of Ukraine and in July of 2004 we left for Ukraine to find our next daughter.  We found our daughter in an orphanage in Donetsk, Ukraine.  Here are some pics of that time (almost 7 years ago).  Click on pics to enlarge:

We were in Ukraine for 17 days.  We arrived back in the states on Aug. 17, 2004 - Aubree was 16 months old.  Today, she is 8 years old:

So, yea, I may have been able to get pregnant again if I had lost weight, but, I guess, there was a reason I couldn't bring myself to do it.  It turned out we were meant to go halfway around the world to find our second child, and I wouldn't change that for anything!  Today, our family is complete with two beautiful, healthy girls:

Exercise today:  30 Day Shred Level 2, and then I worked out on the treadmill.  I did a 1 mile walk with some interval running bursts:

Then I ran 1 mile:

Then I finished up with a slow 5 min. cool down:

So, the I burned 287 calories on the treadmill.  I'm not sure what I burned doing Level 2 of the Shred - maybe 150 calories?  Not that much?  I don't know, but I feel like I got a good workout in today.

Oh, I almost forgot to update about my 2 mile run last night! Well, it ended up being a 1.5 mile run, but by the end I was barely running!  It just was not a good run for me, but I'll try again tomorrow night!