Wednesday, August 3, 2011

**Day 215**

I was reading Kenlie's blog yesterday about how she's been dealing with insecurities about her body, and I can really relate to that issue.  I am so insecure about my, so insecure!  It's an awful feeling.  I always feel like people are looking at me, and judging my fat body.  When there's someone in line behind me at Walmart I'm convinced they are thinking - Eww, she is so fat!  I don't like running outside during the daylight hours for the same reason - I'm sure that every person who sees me is making fun of my fat ass trying to run down the street.  I hate how I look, so I figure everyone must hate the way I look, too.  We have friends coming to our cabin in a couple weeks, and I have to wear a suit in front of them when we go out on the lake - I can't tell you how much I'm dreading it!!  Anyway, Kenlie had this quote on her site:

“A stranger’s judgment of you does not define who you are; it defines who they are.”

I like it.  I need to stop worrying about what people think of me.  Yes, people are going to judge me on just my appearance and I can't change that, but I, certainly, shouldn't be judging myself so harshly, in the same way.  I'm going to work on this.  

I did a 1 mile jog on my treadmill this morning:

Not my fastest run - I wasn't feeling great while running, but, at least, I did the workout, and ran the whole mile.  We met some friends to do some walking at a local walking trail, so I got some extra exercise there.  I'm going to get back on the treadmill later tonight, and walk another two miles.  I've been drinking lots of water today, and my eating is, again, right on!  So, it's been a great week, so far!


  1. You and Kenz are awesome. I completely feel the same way whenever I go out in public.

    Let's definitely work on changing our mindset, okay? If not for us, let's do it for our kids. After all, they see how we act and they'll follow suit some day. Yikes!


  2. You're so right, Chubbs! I don't want my girls to ever feel this way about themselves, so, yes, it's very important that I change my way of thinking!