Sunday, January 9, 2011

**What Happened?**

How did I become obese? It started in the summer of 1997, I weighed about 130 pounds, and, out of the blue, I started gaining weight - fast - and in less than 9 months I was over 200 pounds. I hadn't changed my lifestyle or the way I was eating, so I was convinced I had a thyroid problem, but I was tested and my thyroid was fine. Finally, years later, after dealing w/ secondary infertility I was diagnosed with PCOS. PCOS can lead to infertility, obesity, and a bunch of other problems. So, okay, I finally knew what was going on, and I was put on medicine to help control it, and it did help a little, but I've still never been able to take the extra weight off. Why??....

Well, it's simple, I gave into the PCOS! I let it win. Sure, some of my weight problem is because of the PCOS (that's what my doctor tells me anyway), but alot of the extra weight, I believe, is because I just gave up. I had gained so much weight and it was so hard to lose, and I became very discouraged, so food (junk food) became my comfort.

So, to me, it really doesn't matter how I got here - the point is, I'm here. I'm fat, I'm obese, I'm a mess, and I need to move forward. Wait, I guess, I take that back - it does matter how I got here because I need to learn from my past mistakes, and that's what I'm trying to do. I'm told that because I have PCOS I will have to take medicine for the rest of my life (but I'm hoping the doctors are wrong!), and that it will be hard to lose the weight. I believe it will be hard, but I don't think it's impossible. I can't let PCOS or food lead my life anymore - I'm ready to take the control!


  1. You know, you and I have had alot of conversations about this - and I'm not so sure I've ever heard you talk about it this way exactly in terms of how you gave up after the initial weight from the PCOS. So, maybe this really is a defining moment for you? I believe you can do it, I hope you continue to believe so to! : )

  2. I really feel like I have turned a corner, and I do believe I can do this, and that feels really good - even after a hard day like today.