Sunday, October 23, 2011

**Days 294, 295, & 296**

We went away with friends this weekend, and I didn't allow myself to think about how many calories I was consuming.  Well, okay, I thought about it, but I didn't let it stop me from drinking and eating more than I should have, so what does that say about me?  I don't know.  When I do this it makes me feel like, maybe, I'm, truly, not ready to lose all this weight.  If I was, wouldn't I try to, at least, limit how much I eat or drink.  You know - have just one or two beers, not seven.  And have just one SMALL serving of nachos appetizer, not three BIG servings, followed by a BBQ pork slider.  I just can't believe I'm not there yet.  I'm still making bad choices, and there's no excuse for it.  I still try to justify it by telling myself - well, I'm out with friends, and it's just one weekend, so I get to enjoy myself - which I KNOW is wrong because when I fall off the wagon, even for just one day, I find it very hard to get back on, so why do I allow myself to do it?  I do want to lose this weight, but I must not want it enough, and that's just a fact because if I did I would not continue to make bad choices.  I'm choosing to stay obese, and I'm not sure why that is - laziness? craziness?  I don't know.  What I do know is this - only I can change my life.  I am the decision-maker, and I have to make the decision, once and for all, to take action, and beat this obesity problem that I have inflicted on myself.  If you're still here, thanks for listening to me whine, but I'm done now because whining isn't going to help me lose weight.  And neither is being on track for two days or three days, but off track for four or five days, which is what I've been doing the last few months.  I suck!  Feel free to let me have it - I deserve it.  

8 comments:

  1. Weekends over!! Learn, move on!!! Pick yourself up!! This week will probably be hard!! I know when I fall, I crave the 'bad' stuff for a while! Its 'easy to give up'. I always see a gain the first few days. BUT, DONT LET IT GET YOU DOWN AND DEPRESSED!! WORK HARD!! RUN/WALK extra on that treadmill. Push yourself!! Find that inner 'want to'. I know you have it in you!!!

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  2. Thank you so, so much, Deb! I needed that pep talk! You're awesome!!

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  3. I don't think you would have written this post if you didn't care about losing weight. You obviously want this but you're just finding it tough at the moment. Have you thought about setting yourself some short term goals to try and reach i.e. lose 2.5lb - give yourself a reward, lose 5lb - give yourself another reward and so on until you find that you back to where you want to be.

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  4. Hi, Tim! I think, you're right - I need to set short term goals. I, usually, set long term goals that end of seeming too hard, and too far off, and I get discouraged. Thanks for the advice!

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  5. Shannon - most times when I read your posts you are celebrating the victories you had with working out or doing well. Then there is the occasional post like this - and I know where you are coming from - I don't think there is a soul out there that hasn't been through this while trying to lose weight. However - I think you need to step back and look at your progress. You HAVE done something over the last 10 months...you are getting there. You do exercise more often than not - and even if it is only 20 mins - you are making it a habit. You are doing good things for yourself. Try to concentrate on those - don't let the slip ups be your focus. I'm not saying ignore them, but don't let them fester in your mind - they can be like poison.
    There have been remarkable changes in your journey - but yes, there are still miles to go. Rome wasn't built in a day and shedding excessive weight doesn't happen overnight. Bad habits that we have practiced for YEARS are not easily corrected - but they can be. You are obviously aware of what you tend to do in social situations. Next time, go into it with a plan. Try to recognize that you may indulge - but that doesn't mean you need to overindulge. Print your post and take it with you the next time - read it before you go. Maybe that will help keep things in perspective.
    By the way - I am obviously no authority on weight loss. I need to heed my own advice. But I really believe that we can do this! You are showing ME that there is such a human element to weight loss - we may stumble and fall - but we can pick ourselves up again and move on, getting closer and closer to our goals, no matter how long it takes.

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  6. Thank you, Rochelle! Such a great comment! I needed to hear this!

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  7. I think if you aren't flexible on this journey then it will be a pretty horrid journey. Be at peace with the decision you made and that you already have the wisdom not to make it an everyday occurrence.You can work on the over indulgence in steps, next time have 2 1/2 servings of the nachos, then 2, and soon you will be at the small serving you want to pick. It will feel natural.

    If you are prepared to accept that your weight will come off in small steps, then be prepared for the change in choices you make to be step by step. Don't expect to be able to fully change a habit instantly, plan to change it slowly, take control of it.

    I wish you continued strength on your journey.

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  8. Thanks for commenting, Mike! Awesome advice! I'm heading over to check out your blog!:)

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