**Day 90**

I had a crappy day of being mad at myself for not doing as good as I wanted to do in March.   I didn't meet my goals - I wanted to lose 10 pounds in March, but I only lost 6, I wanted to workout 26 days out of the 31 days, but I only worked out 21 days, I wanted to see progress in my monthly pictures, but there's no improvement.  So, all day, I was really upset, and feeling like a failure, and feeling like I wanted to give up, but then I started looking at the positives, which are:

1.)  I lost 6 pounds, which is an average of 1.2 pounds a week for the month of March - that's good!!!  And it's better than not losing anything at all!
2.)  I exercised 21 days in March - that's huge!!  It's way more than I did in Jan. and Feb., and I'm running now, too, which is great!
3.)  I'm eating better than I ever have in my life!  Sure, I had some struggles at the end of the month, but, for the most part, I have, completely, changed my eating habits, and that's something to be proud of!

I still have tons of work to do - I'm still learning what works for me and what doesn't, but it's crazy for me to be mad at myself for "only" losing 6 pounds, and for "only" working out 21 days.  I'm 90 days into my journey, and I've lost 18.5 pounds.  Was I hoping to be further along at this point?  Of course!  But 18.5 is not something to be sad about it!

I weighed-in on my scale today since I didn't weigh-in with WW yesterday.  I weigh 230, so that's up a pound since I last weighed in on my scale.  From here on out, I will be going by the WW scale, so we'll see what next Wed. brings!

Exercise today was my C25K training - 16 min. of running, and 14 min. of walking for a total of 30 minutes!

**Day 89**

After being gone for about seven days we are home sweet home, and I am exhausted!!  Why is it that I always feel, completely, drained after being on vacation??  Shouldn't I feel rested?!  Jeez, I haven't felt this tired in a long time!  So, I decided to skip my 5K training until tomorrow morning, and I didn't go to the WW weigh-in and meeting tonight either.  Once we got home from St. Louis the only thing I wanted to do was sit down and chill, so I decided to allow myself a night of relaxation, but it's only 8:15pm, and I can barely stay awake, so I'm heading to bed right after I finish this post, and I'm hoping I will wake up in the morning feeling nice and refreshed!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about my weigh-in for this week since I didn't weigh in with WW.  I may just weigh-in on my own scale tomorrow for the final day in March, and tally up my weight loss for the month, and then for April (and as long as I'm on WW) my weigh-ins will, officially, be on Wednesdays when I have my meetings.

I've got nothing else!  I got, barely, form a coherent thought.  Good night!

**Day 88**

I felt better today - more in control, and not so down on myself for not being perfect.  I'm too hard on myself - I need to remember how great I've been doing for almost three months, and not get so mad at myself when I slip every once in awhile.

We've had a wonderful trip, but I'm glad we're heading home tomorrow - I'm ready to see my husband, and my dogs, and to just get back to the usual day to day stuff.  And, I think, my new treadmill is arriving on Friday - I can't wait!!!

I worked out in the hotel gym again tonight!  I did 30 min. on the treadmill, and my girls worked out w/ me, too! At one point, my youngest was on the treadmill next to me running at 5.0 mph!  She puts me to shame - I am such a slow runner!  We had fun working out together! :)

**Day 87**

We're enjoying our trip in St. Louis - we made a visit to the Arch today, and to the City Museum.  The City Museum is AWESOME, so if you get a chance to take your kids there....do it!!!

Anyway, we got quite a bit of exercising walking around today, but I did go to the hotel gym to work out, too.  I started out on the elliptical, but I got off after 5 min. because it wasn't a very good one, and it didn't seem to work right.  So, I jumped on the treadmill for a little over 25 min., so I worked out for about 30 min, and I worked up a good sweat.

I haven't done all that great with my food the last couple days, not horrible, but not great either.  I just feel myself slipping, mentally, on the food front, but I haven't, totally, crashed and burned - I'm not eating any crap between meals or anything like that.  I'm just not choosing the foods I know I should be choosing for my main meals, and I have no excuse for it.  So, I'm not ending the month of March the way I had hoped - I'm struggling a bit, but I know I'll be okay.  There's going to be hard times for me, from time to time, on this journey, but I know there's no stopping allowed - I'm in this for the long haul, and I won't give up!!

**Day 86**

Sunday morning:

I've done my Couch-to-5K training for the day!  (No knee or back pain - yay!)
I've had a healthy breakfast!
And now, we're off for St. Louis!

Have a great Sunday! :)

**Day 85**

It was just a few days ago that I was saying how I'm, finally, willing and able to make good food choices, but, I think, I was a little too sure of myself, a little too soon, because I, totally, strayed away from my new healthy ways while we were away from home this weekend.  I knew I wouldn't be perfect this weekend, but I was worse than I thought I would be.  I felt that old urge to devour all things bad, and I gave in to that urge alot!  We got home this afternoon, and I feel more secure here at home, but we're leaving again, first thing in the morning, for our four day trip to St. Louis, and I can't continue my junk food eating frenzy for the next four days, so I need to boost my willpower back up!  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!  It's just food, it's just food, it's just food!!

I attended my first Weight Watchers last Wednesday, but with leaving for the homeschool conference Thursday, and just getting back today, I haven't had time to really go through the program to figure out the point values for foods, and with leaving tomorrow again....well, I'm just not going to be able to, completely, start the program until I'm home from St. Louis, but I'll do the best I can while I'm gone.  I know what healthy foods I should be eating, in general, so I'm going to stick with that, and that should keep me in my points range.

It's almost time for me to post progress pictures....well, I hope there will be noticeable progress!  I'll be posting the pics on Friday, so we'll see!

I finished Week 3 of my 5K training tonight.  I am so exhausted from the conference, so I thought it was going to be a brutal 28 min. workout, but it wasn't bad, and that was a relief!!  I'm going to start Week 4 of my 5K training tomorrow morning, before I leave for St. Louis.  I, normally, don't do two days in a row, but with going on my trip I'm having to do things a little different this week.  So, Week 4 training will be Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday.  The training for tomorrow is a total of 30 min., which will include running for 3 straight minutes - twice!, AND running for 5 straight minutes - twice!!  So, 16 minutes total of running!  I'm a little worried about getting through it, but I WILL do it!  And this will be the workout for Wednesday and Friday, too.  Wish me luck!

**Day 84**

Well, I started off my day good w/ a protein bar, an orange, and a glass of milk, and for lunch I had half of a deli turkey sandwich (took off the top piece of bread), and an apple.  Then things started going downhill a bit....okay, alot!!:(  My daughter had a cake decorating class, and, dang, that caked looked good when she was done, so I took a bite, and then I took another bite, and then another....and then, well, maybe, about three more bites.  Dinner was a Caprese sandwich w/ fries.  Dessert was a Cafe Mocha from Caribou.  Then, I had a couple cups of riesling wine, and then a glass of Bailey's.  I was bad....very, very bad.  And I'm already paying for it - my fingers and toes are swollen, and I feel like crap.  My body is not used to me eating like this anymore, and it's not liking it.  Not much else to say.  I WILL do better tomorrow.