**Days 242 & 243**

Final weigh-in for the month is not a good one:

I gained 3 pounds this month, so I'm, definitely, not going in the right direction.  It's so hard to come on here, and have to report a gain.  I feel ashamed that somewhere over the last couple months I lost my motivation to continue on this weight loss journey.  Why can't I get it the motivation back?  As I mentioned before, I can talk about it all until I'm blue in the face, but that's not going to get it done.  I need to regroup, and get myself back in the game.  I can't continue to gain.  I've worked too hard to let it all go to crap.

I'll be posting progress pics that will show no progress, but I skipped posting pics last month, and I don't want to skip again.

Anyway, don't give up on me because I'm not giving up on myself.

**Days 240 & 241**

Short post tonight because I'm exhausted - it's been a long weekend!  I did the 5k race on Saturday.  Saturday night I was out late with friends.  And then yesterday and today I hung out with my family in Chicago, and we had such a great time!!  We spent hours and hours walking the last two days, and that's a new experience for me.  In the past, we spent lots of money taking taxis.  My thinking was - why would I walk if I can take a taxi??!  But I don't think that way anymore!  The new me thinks - why would I pay for a taxi if we can walk there for free?!  We started out at Millennium Park, and then we walked to Buckingham Fountain, and, from there, we walked to Navy Pier, and then we just kept walking and walking and walking, and we did the same thing today.  Don't get me wrong, my feet and legs are very sore, and my blisters are worse than ever, but before this year I never would have attempted to do all that walking, and it feels good to be able to do it now, and it feels good to WANT to do it now!!!  Click on the collage to see some pics of Chicago!

**Days 238 & 239**

(Click on collage to enlarge)

I survived my second official 5k!  It was much easier than my first 5k, but, of course, it wasn't almost 100 degrees outside, thanks goodness!  We finished in about 48:00 - I don't know the official time yet with the delay of getting over the start line (since we start at the way back!!), but I did improve my time (I did the last race in 49:12).  My daughter needed to walk a little more than I would have liked during the race - she was struggling towards the end because her feet were hurting - so, I could have finished a bit faster, but that's not important.  We did the race together, and that's all that matters.  We're doing another 5k on September 25th, so we're going to keep training, and we'll, hopefully, improve our time.  It feels great to be doing these 5ks and I can't wait to do the next one!  I think, I'm getting a little addicted! :)

**Days 236 & 237**

I picked up my race packet for the 5k I'm doing on Saturday:

And I, also, picked up some stuff for my nasty blisters:

Tonight was my first run since I got the blisters on Monday.  One blister is almost, completely, healed, but the other one is being stubborn, and is still very painful.  So, I used the above items before my run tonight, but by the end of mile one I could tell the bandages had slipped off because the blister was really burning, so I only ran the 1 mile:

I ran the mile at a 2.0 incline, and it kicked my butt!  I'm still very slow, but I'm not surprised because I haven't been training like I should.  Yes, my back was hurt for a week, and yes, I've been dealing with the blisters this week, BUT before that I just hadn't been giving it my all.

I did really good for the first six months or so, but for the last two months I feel like I've been doing the bare minimum.  I'm not eating horribly, but I'm not eating as good as I should be.  And I'm still exercising, but I'm not exercising at the level I should be.  I've only been doing enough to maintain the 30 pounds I've lost.  Sure, I'm glad I'm not gaining, but I need to get back to losing because I am far from being done!  But you know what?  I'm done talking about it.  I can keep talking about what I should be doing.  I can keep talking about what I'm not doing.  I can keep talking about why I'm not doing what I need to be doing.  OR I can shut up, and just do what I need to do.  I don't want to be a "talker".  I want to be a "doer".  Doers make things happen, so I need to quick talking, and MAKE THIS HAPPEN!  I know what I need to do, so I'm going to shut up, and do it!

**Days 234 & 235**

My new running shoes suck! I bought the Asics Gel-Pulse 2 shoes, and they are not working for me!

They give me awful blisters on my heels:

I have one of these on each heel - oh, the pain!!!  They burn!!  I bought some heavy duty band aides, so, hopefully, I'll be able to do my run today.  Anyway, these shoes are a bust!  I don't know what the deal is - they're the right size, they felt good in the store, I did the heel check (no slipping), but they just aren't the right shoe for me!  I can't use my New Balance running shoes anymore - they are just done!  So, I'm going go back to using the Mizuno running shoes I have - they do cause a bit of pain in my toes, but, at least, they don't give me blisters!

**Days 232 & 233**

My back is MUCH better today - I only have a tiny bit of soreness left, thank goodness!  I don't want to push it by running tonight, but I'm heading out, in a minute, for a 5k walk. I'll do a run Mon., Tues., & Thurs., and then I'll be doing a 5k race on Saturday with my eldest daughter.  My hubby and my other daughter will be there to support us!  I can't wait!

I bought a new battery for my scale yesterday, but I haven't weighed myself yet.  I've decided I'm not going to weigh-in again until August 31st.  I'll do my final weigh-in for the month that day, and I'll take progress pics, and the pics will show progress!  I've decided to go a little Biggest Loser on my ass!  I've been slacking off way too much lately.  The fire within has died down, and I need to get back to it.  Don't get me wrong - I still exercise, and I still eat good, for the most part, but I should be doing better.  I mean, come on - it's been almost 8 full months, and I've only lost about 30 pounds.  I know, I know - 30 pounds is great, but I know it could have been more if I hadn't started getting lazy with my exercising and eating.  I need to exercise more (and harder), and I need to start being much more strict with the foods I'm eating.  So, I'm going to spend the next 10 days getting back to what I was doing before, and forming those good habits again!

I hope you all had a great weekend!

**Day 231**

Weigh-in today:

Did not happen!  Stepped on the scale, and it was, completely, dead!  And , of course, I don't have a 9 volt battery in the house, so there will be no weigh-in today.  I do have an analog scale but I always weigh much less on that scale so I would totally be cheating if I used that scale!  Anyway, I'll get a new battery today, and probably weigh-in tomorrow.

Unfortunately, my back is only a little better, so I've decided to skip the 5k race tomorrow.  My back, obviously, needs complete rest, and it's stupid of me to keep working out, which could, possibly, lead to further damage.  I am going to rest it today and tomorrow, and, probably, on Sunday.  There is a 5k race next Sat. the 27th:  http://www.bolingbrookparks.org/Latest_News/News_Items/Parkie_s_5K_Family_Fun_Run/Walk.aspx
So, I'm going to aim for this one!

Have a great weekend!

**Days 229 & 230**

My back is out - I'm so upset!  I can, barely, get around - it hurts to walk, sit, and lie down.  I knew a little something happened when I had that fender-bender on Tuesday, but I ran that night anyway, and I probably shouldn't have, BUT I felt okay the next day (yesterday).  My back was a little sore, but it wasn't terrible pain, so I got on my treadmill last night and did a pretty slow 2 mile walk....I only did about 5 minutes of running:

I did the whole workout at a 2.0 incline, and I wore brand new running shoes.  When I woke up this morning my back was very sore, but it wasn't "out".  First thing this morning, we had to drive 45 minutes to take our dogs to the vet (I take them to a vet in my hometown where I grew up because it's SO much cheaper than here in the suburbs where I live).  Anyway, when we arrived at the vet, I went to get out of the car, and there was a major pain in my lower back, and every step I took was a major effort.  So, I don't know, exactly, what caused this episode.  The fender-bender?  Running after the fender-bender?  Working out at 2.0 incline in new running shoes (which were really comfortable in the store, but not so comfortable during my workout)?  It's, probably, all of the above.  I've been icing my back all day, and, obviously, I won't be working out, at all,  today.  This is terrible timing because I have my 5k race on Saturday, and I really want to be able to run it, but I may have to walk it - we'll see.   I'm going to continue to ice my back, and, hopefully, I'll feel much better tomorrow.

**Days 227 & 228**

Does anyone else out there NOT feel rested even after getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep?  No matter how much sleep I get in at night I never feel rested in the morning, and it's so frustrating!  What is it?  Bad mattress?  Sleeping in the wrong position?  Stress?  Or is it just old age??  Okay, I'm not old, but I'm almost 40, so I'm....older.  And it's not that I wake up with an achy body - this used to be a problem, but it's not anymore, after losing 30 pounds.  It's that I'm exhausted when I wake up, no matter how much sleep I get - 6, 7, 8 hours - I still feel so tired!  It's frustrating!  I just want to feel rested!  If anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them!

Well, I might wake up with an achy body tomorrow.  I was in a little fender-bender today.  I was sitting at a red light, and a teenage boy nailed my car in the back (he was probably texting!), and he hit me good!  I felt some major pain in my lower back on impact, and when I got out I felt a slight shooting pain down my leg. I came home and, immediately, took some Aleve, but I'm still have some pain.  I probably shouldn't do a  run tonight, but I hate to get off schedule, so I'm going to give it a try, but I may end up walking more than running.  My next 5k is in 4 more sleeps, so I want to get all my training in for this week!

I'm so behind on reading blogs, but I'm going to try to get caught up tonight.  I hope you are all doing good out there!!

**Days 225 & 226**

We enjoyed a nice weekend at our cabin with friends, but I won't lie - I ate like crap.  And I didn't exercise, at all.  I'm falling back into bad habits - eating bad on weekends, and not exercising on weekends.  I'm allowing myself to think - oh, it's the weekend, and it's only two days, so it's okay.  But it's not okay.  I'm just being lazy.  I can't allow the weekends to be an excuse for me to eat junk, and skip exercising, so I'm going get back to planning out a healthy food and exercise schedule for my weekends.

Goals for the week:

*5k workout Mon., Tues., & Thurs.
*Shred workout Mon., Wed., Fri.
*96 oz. water/day
*1200 calories/day
*Bedtime 11pm

**Days 223 & 224**

Today's weigh-in:

1 pound lost.  I'm, actually, happy with this loss because I went out to eat at P.F. Chang's with friends Wed. night, and I had some very tasty (but high calorie and high fat) dishes, and I had an alcohol drink, AND I had a medium Caribou cafe mocha another day, so I was thinking I was going to probably just maintain my weight from last week - so I will take the 1 pound loss!

Also, I didn't exercise yesterday.  I'm dealing with a couple of these:

I know - pictures of toes are gross!  Anyway, I have two of these blisters going on, and they may be small, but, oh my gosh, they freaking hurt - even with a band-aid on, so I skipped working out yesterday because I didn't want to wear socks and shoes!  But today I'm going to wrap the blisters up good, and try out the treadmill.

Next Saturday is my next 5k race.  I'm doing it w/ my hubby, and my girls, so I'm really looking forward to it.

Have a great weekend!

**Days 221 & 222**

It took me almost 50 minutes to walk/run 3.1 miles outside last night.  I was struggling right from the start, and I wanted to turn back so many times, but I kept pushing myself.  I was determined to do the whole 5k - no matter how long it took me.  I walked the last 20 min., but, at least, I finished it.  By the time I got home I had a blisters on top of two different toes.  I have no idea why that happened - I never get blisters ... let alone there.  Anyway, by this morning the blisters were raw, so I covered them with band-aids before I got on the treadmill tonight, but it didn't offer much relief.  The blisters were really burning, so I only walked on my treadmill for 20 min. - not much of a workout, but it's something.  I'll be back out tomorrow night doing another 3.1 miles, and, hopefully, it will be a better workout than last night's 5k.

I hate to post another disturbing article, but I haven't been able to get this woman out of my mind:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/11/sports/triathlon-swimmer-is-remembered.html

So, so scary.  Here's a seemingly healthy woman - worked out, was active, probably ate well, but she died anyway.  They don't know if it was a heart attack yet, but they think it might have been.  It boggles my mind. And it's so sad - she had three young children.  My heart goes out to them.

**Day 220**

This article is so disturbing:


http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/08/tweens.anorexia.parenting/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn

But, sadly, I'm really not that shocked by it.  I remember the summer before my 4th grade year I started thinking I was fat.  I started puberty very early (started having to wear a bra at 9 years old, got my period at 10!) and put on a little weight - I was never a skinny kid, so the weight gain made me look chunky, and I knew it.  I was a competitive swimmer, but I felt I needed more exercise, and I remember I would do jumping jacks in my room at night when I was suppose to be in bed because I wanted to lose weight.  I didn't like my body, at all, and 30 years later I'm still dealing with this issue, but I know I need to set a better example for my girls.  And I need to pay attention to what they are looking at and listening to and how they are feeling about themselves, so they won't have to deal with the issues mentioned in the article.  I just want my girls to love themselves as they are - always!  But with living in the kind of world we live in I wonder if it's realistic to think that they can, or will.

**Days 218 & 219**

We had a busy, but fun weekend!  We had to be out of the house by 8am Sat. to get our daughter to the theater to perform as "Miss Hannigan" again, and she did a great job...again! :-)  And then we stayed at a hotel with my best friend's family - the kids spent hours and hours swimming, and us adults spent time hanging out, and having a few drinks. :)  So, I know I was over on my calories on Sat. with the drinks, and a couple other goodies, but I'm okay with allowing myself to go off plan for one day.

I just spent an hour planning out my food, and my exercise, schedule for the week, so I'm going to stick to the plan, and, hopefully, see a nice loss on Friday!

Have a good week!

**Day 217**

1 pound lost this week:

I hate to complain about a loss, BUT, seriously, only 1 pound?!  I worked my butt off this week in every area - exercise, food, and water - so I was expecting a bigger loss, I really WANTED a bigger loss.  It's so frustrating!  I guess, I will look at the positives, A) I didn't gain, and B) I'm below 220 again.

Have a great weekend!!

**Day 216**

My daughter and I headed out for a 5K walk/run tonight, but we only did 2.6 miles.  I bought new running shoes for my daughter, but they started bothering her during the workout, so we had to turn back.  She probably just needs to break them in a little more.  Anyway, we ran about 20 min., and walked the rest, and it took us, just over, 40 minutes.  After we got home I got on my treadmill, and did a 1 mile walk/run - 3 min. walk, 2 min. run, 3 min. walk, 2 min. run, etc.:

I love that my daughter is wanting to run with me!  It feels great that we are doing this together, and I can't wait to do the race with her on Aug. 20th.  My younger daughter isn't all that interested in running with me, but I'm going to keep working on her! :)

**Still Day 215**

I just finished a late night walk/run workout on my treadmill:

I'm gotta say - that 1.0 incline kills me!  My thighs are burning, and that's just at 1.0!  I probably wouldn't be able to stand if I did a 2.0 or 3.0 incline!  Anyway, I did a total of 3 miles today, and burned 425 calories during my workouts - not bad.  I hoping to see a nice loss on the scale this week - I really need the boost!

**Day 215**

I was reading Kenlie's blog yesterday about how she's been dealing with insecurities about her body, and I can really relate to that issue.  I am so insecure about my body....so, so insecure!  It's an awful feeling.  I always feel like people are looking at me, and judging my fat body.  When there's someone in line behind me at Walmart I'm convinced they are thinking - Eww, she is so fat!  I don't like running outside during the daylight hours for the same reason - I'm sure that every person who sees me is making fun of my fat ass trying to run down the street.  I hate how I look, so I figure everyone must hate the way I look, too.  We have friends coming to our cabin in a couple weeks, and I have to wear a suit in front of them when we go out on the lake - I can't tell you how much I'm dreading it!!  Anyway, Kenlie had this quote on her site:

“A stranger’s judgment of you does not define who you are; it defines who they are.”


I like it.  I need to stop worrying about what people think of me.  Yes, people are going to judge me on just my appearance and I can't change that, but I, certainly, shouldn't be judging myself so harshly, in the same way.  I'm going to work on this.  


I did a 1 mile jog on my treadmill this morning:

Not my fastest run - I wasn't feeling great while running, but, at least, I did the workout, and ran the whole mile.  We met some friends to do some walking at a local walking trail, so I got some extra exercise there.  I'm going to get back on the treadmill later tonight, and walk another two miles.  I've been drinking lots of water today, and my eating is, again, right on!  So, it's been a great week, so far!

**Day 214**

I had planned to do a late night 5K run outside after we got home from my daughter's play tonight, but it started storming out on our way home.  I guess, I should have checked to see what the weather was going to be like tonight! :-\  Luckily, I did a treadmill workout earlier in the day.  I did a 3 mile walk/run:

I burned almost 400 calories, so it was a good workout!  My eating, and water intake. was right on today, so I'm very happy with how I did today.  I'm just taking it one day at a time.  One. Day. At. A. Time.

My 10-year-old daughter performed as Miss Hannigan in the Annie musical tonight.  She did so awesome, and I am so proud of her!!  Here's a couple pics:

                                                           I love her facial expressions!

                                                All her friends that came to watch her!!!

**Days 212 & 213**

I ended July in the 220's - where I swore I would never be again. :-(

I'm disappointed, but I'm not surprised because I hadn't been eating well, or exercising enough.  So, I gained 3.5 pounds since my last weigh-in on July 15th.  July was not a good month for me, especially the end of the month. I feel like it's the hardest month I've had since I started on this journey, but I need to put July behind me, and focus on August, and beyond.

I'm not going to bother taking progress pics this month since, clearly, there is no progress, and I don't want to depress myself further by looking at pics of myself.

Goals for August:

• Track my food every day!
• Drink 120 oz. every day!
• 5k run Sundays, Tuesdays, & Thursdays
• Treadmill Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays
• DVD workout Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays
• Play Wii with my girls, at least, 3 days a week
• Lose 8 pounds