**Day 211**

So far, so good.  I did my treadmill workout for the day.  I ran 1 mile:

That's the fastest I've ever done a mile, so I'm getting better.  I'm pushing myself, and that feels good.  After running a mile, I walked another mile.  I burned almost 300 calories.  I've been drinking lots of water today, and eating healthful foods.  So, today is good.  One day at a time.

Have a great weekend everyone.

**Days 209 & 210**

I started a whiny post about how I can't seem to stay on track, and how impossible it seems to lose 90 more pounds, and blah, blah, blah, but then I deleted it because I'm tired of whining about the same stuff.  I have nothing to whine about.  Yes, I'm obese, but it's fixable.  There are so many people out there dealing with issues in their lives that aren't fixable, but I can fix my problem, and I need to stop making excuses, and just do what I need to do.  I posted on Monday that I was back on track, but by Wed. night I was way off again.  Since then, I've been eating like crap, and I haven't exercised, and, I swear, I can already feel the weight creeping back on!   I'm pretty sure I'll be ending this month with a gain, and I hate that I have to take progress pictures that won't show any progress, but this is just a setback - it's not the end.  I won't give up - that's not an option, and it never will be.  So, yes, I'm struggling (again), but I'll fight my way through it - no doubt. 

“Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.” ~Unknown

**I have no idea why this blog post posted this way with all the spaces and stuff, and I can't seem to fix it, and it really annoys me!!!!

**Days 207 & 208**

I've decided to do one 5k race a month for the rest of the year.  I need the challenge, and I look forward to accomplishing this goal.  Here are the races I'll be doing:

Sat., Aug. 20th - Scott S'cool Scoot 5k
Sun., Sept. 25th - Plainfield Harvest 5k
Sun., Oct. 30th - Edward Fraidy Cat 5k
Sun., Nov. 20th - Pilgrim Pacer 5k
Sat., Dec. 3rd - Jingle Bell 5k

So, I only have a little over 3 weeks before my next race!  My plan is to run outdoors three days a week - Sundays, Tuesdays, & Thursdays.  On Mondays and Wednesdays, I'll do a treadmill workout.  I've been slacking on doing my dvd workouts, so I need to throw them back in the mix!!

The race I'm doing in Aug. is a self-timed race, so it's going to be a casual race, but I'm still going to do my best to try to improve my time.  I'm going to run it with my family, which is what this particular race is about - to show kids that being active is a fun, healthy way to spend time with family and friends.  Here's the link to the site if anyone in my area is interested in participating with their kids:
https://sites.google.com/site/scottscoolscoot/home

I hope you are all having a good week!

**Days 205 and 206**

I'm back on track.  I'm doing all the right things again - eating right, drinking lots of water, exercising, and it feels so good!  After the 5K race I felt so lost for a couple days.  I don't know why.  I should have been on a total high after finishing that race, but, for some reason, I crashed and burned.  Anyway, I'm going to do my best to not let that happen again!

I've been thinking about my long term goals, and where I want to be on the end of this journey.  Of course, it's still about numbers for me.  Maybe that will change eventually, but maybe not - we'll see.  I'm hoping to get down to 130 pounds.  I'm hoping to be close to that by my 40th birthday, which is about 6 months away.  I will not turn 40 as a fat person.  I was obese for half of my 20's, and all of my 30's.  I will not spend one day in my 40's being fat!

Also, I would like to regularly be running 5k races by 40th birthday.  Running is a huge challenge for me right now, but I've decided that I love it.  Mary (who inspires me!) said on her blog today that racing makes her feel like an athlete, and I feel the same way.  I'm just starting out, so I'm slow, and I can't run a whole 5k without stopping, but I'm working on it, and I'm going to get better and better, and I look forward to doing many more races!

**Day 204**

I've been eating like crap the last couple days.  It started with going out to eat after my race Thursday night.  We ordered a couple appetizers - mozzarella sticks and breaded mushrooms, and then I had a pork chop sandwich and some fries.  Of course, my thinking was - I deserve it after running that race!.  Seriously, why am I so stupid?  Shouldn't I be so over this kind of thinking by now?!  I mean, really - I've been working my butt off, and then I go out and eat that crap, like it's some kind of reward for me.  So ridiculous!  Then it just snowballed.....one night of bad eating turned into another day of bad eating, and then another, and tonight I sit here wondering how I let this happen.  I got lazy.  I have no excuse.  I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyway.  I have to stop it - NOW!  It would be so easy for me to just keep going on like this because, well, I'm tired.  Tired of thinking about exercising all the time.  Tired of thinking about what to eat, and what not to eat.  Tired of thinking about how many calories something/everything contains.  Tired of thinking about my next weigh-in.  Tired of thinking about the 90 pounds I still need to lose!!!  So, yes, it would be easier to give up, but I can't.  I won't.  I had a rough couple of days, but tomorrow is a new day, and I will do better.  I'm going to get back to doing what I know I need to do.  And, really, I don't want to give up.  I want to succeed.  I want to reach my goal.  I really do.  And I will - I know it.

**Day 203**

At the end of last year I weighed 248.5 pounds, and I lived a sedentary lifestyle - if I didn't have to move, well, I didn't.  My picture should have been next to the word lazy in the dictionary!  But at the beginning of this year I decided to get healthy, and I'm well on my way.  I now weigh 216.5 pounds, and yesterday I did a 5K race!  I'm so happy it's over, but I'm so glad I did it!

I ran the race with my sister and my seven year old nephew, Nicolas.  I was so nervous about the race because of the heat, and it WAS brutal, but I would say we ran more than we walked.  I had two goals - finish the race, and not come in dead last.  Well, I did finish, and I didn't come in last.  It took me 49:12 to finish.  There were 823 runners, and I came in 807th, so close to last, but not last! :)  There were 78 females in my age division, and I came in 75th.

So, like I said, it was a brutal race for me.  I was so, so hot!  There were only three water stations along the way, but, seriously, I could have used like ten of them!  The last mile was the worst for me, and I admit that I whined like a 3 year old, but my sister talked me through it, and got me running again, and over the finish line. There was a fire truck at the finish line with a firefighter spraying water through a huge hose - I headed straight for that firefighter to cool off in the water!

I'm very proud of myself for doing the race, and I can't wait for the next one!  I'm not going to do another summer race, but I signed up today for a fall race....the Plainfield Harvest 5k Run/Walk on Sept. 25th.  My goal will to be to finish in less than 45 minutes!

I have to send out a huge thank you to my sister running the race with me - I wouldn't have made it through the whole thing without her!  And thank you to my wonderful husband and my awesome dad who came out in the heat to support me!  My mom would have been there, too, but she stayed home with my daughters and my other two nephews so they wouldn't have to be out in the heat - thank you, Mom!

Here are some pics from the race (click to enlarge):

Almost forgot - I decided not to weigh in this morning.  We went out to eat for a late dinner last night, so I'm sure I would have seen a gain on the scale, and I didn't want to let that get me down.  I just want to stay on my happy high from the race! :)  I think, since it's the end of the month, I'm going to hold off, and not do another weigh in until July 31st, and, hopefully, head out of July with a nice big loss!

Happy Friday!!!  And have a great weekend!

**Day 202**

I finished the race, but I'm too tired to go in details!  I'm heading to bed, but I'll post more in the morning.

**Day 201**

I decided to do 3.1 miles on my treadmill tonight, and my goal was to do it in less than 45 minutes:


I was so close!!!  But I'm happy with the workout I did because I only had to walk for 4 minutes, and the rest I ran!
Run 15 min.
Walk 2 min.
Run 15 min.
Walk 2 min.
Run 11 min.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to do this at the race tomorrow tonight!  Since it's going to be a high of 98, and very humid, I'm sure I'm going to have walk much of the race, so it will take me even longer to finish, but we'll see how it goes.  Of course, I wish it wasn't going to be so darn hot - this is not how I wanted to have to tackle my first race, but it is what it is, and I'm going to give it all I can!!

**Still Day 200**

I went to the Sundowner 5K (that's the name of the race I'm running) website thinking (okay, hoping) I was going to find that the race has been cancelled since it's going to be 97 degrees out, and killer humid, and, well, I"m thinking someone will die (that someone will be me, of course) running in that kind of heat and humidity!!!  But, no, it's not cancelled.  They did have this to say though:

HEAT ADVISORY

The forecast for Thursday includes a heat advisory...

Drink 8-10 glasses of water daily, including race day, 

to maintain water balance prior to the run.

It's obvious the race is going to happen, so I picked up my race packet today.  Here's my shirt and bib:

As you can see, I'm number 105 - let's hope it turns out to be a lucky number for me!

I'm not going to run the 3.1 miles outside today.  It's a little after 6pm, and it's still 92 degrees outside, and I've decided that I'm only running outside,in 90+ degree weather, once this week!  So, I'll be doing my run on the treadmill tonight. :-)

**Days 199 & 200**

I was gone ALL day yesterday - didn't get home until 9:30pm, and went straight to bed because I was exhausted and not feeling well, so that's why blogging didn't happen for me.  Anyway, the heat is killing me.  I'm still, really, worried about the race on Thursday because of how hot it's going to be - 97!!!!  My sister tried running outside yesterday (and it wasn't even 97 out), but she only made it a mile because it was so hot, and she's not even obese, or fat, or even a little bit chubby - okay, well, she is pregnant, but, still, if she can't handle running in this awful heat, how will I?  Maybe I'm just making excuses, and looking for something to worry about, which, of course, is what I do! :-\  I just really don't want to die trying to do my first 5K!!!  No, seriously, I'm just going to get out there, and do my best - that's all I can do.

It's suppose to be 94 out today, so I'm going to get out there, and do 3.1 miles to see how I feel.  I'll post later tonight to let you know how I did.  Wish me luck!

**Day 198**

I've mentioned before how much I HATE the heat, so I was hoping a cold snap would come through the area for my 5K race on Thursday, but it's not looking good.  Right now, the forecast is saying it will be a high of 97 that day....DAMN!!!!  This worries me.  I don't do well with the heat, at all.  I sweat, profusely.  My fingers, ankles, and toes swell up.  I get really overheated.  So, I'm expecting it to be a hellish race for me, but I'm still going to do it, of course.  Maybe the forecast will change!  I can hope, right?!

Today I'm spending the day with my sister - we're getting pedicures, going to lunch, and doing some shopping for her wedding reception, which is only about thirteen days away!  It's going to be a great day!

Happy Sunday!

**Day 197**

I had a great time at my cousin's reception tonight.  I did end up wearing a dress.  I didn't love it, but I wore it anyway because I just wanted to wear one after not wearing one for so many years.  Plus, it was a fear I had, and I wanted to face it.  For me, showing my legs is something I never do, but I did it tonight, and, yes, I survived!  And no one died from having to look at them!  So, here's the outfit I wore:

So, it's a start!  Anyway, the food at the reception was amazing, and I had too much of it, so I have to burn off some major calories tomorrow!!!

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend!

**Day 196**

Today's weigh-in:

2 pounds lost!!! Yay!!  I was a little worried because I went out to eat and had a late dinner with my parents and sister last night, so I thought I might see a gain.  I had broccoli and cheese soup, and about three chips dipped in (not scooped!) spinach artichoke dip, and then afterwards we went out for coffee - I had a cafe mocha.  Luckily, none of it really affected my weigh-in this morning.  I can't wait to be out of the 200's!  My goal is to be out of the 200's in eight more weeks, so that's September 9th.  That's a little more than 2 pounds per week I have to lose, which I almost never do, so maybe it's an unrealistic goal, but I'm in the mood for a big challenge!  I guess, I'm feeling a little cocky after my 2 pound loss this week!

My back is feeling better this morning, so I'm going to run again tonight, and do 3.1 miles - hopefully, in less than 45 minutes!

Have a great weekend!

**Day 195**

I went out for a run tonight, and felt pretty good throughout the whole run.....I hesitate to call it running because I'm so slow, but whatever.  Anyway, this is what I did tonight:

Run 10 min.
Walk 2 min.
Run 10 min.
Walk 2 min.
Run 10 min.
Walk 2 min.

So, it was a 36 min. workout, and I went 2.3 miles.  Like I said, slow!!  My back starting hurting towards the end, so that's why I only did  2.3 miles, but I'm okay with cutting it short.

My 5K race is one week from tonight!  I'm running the race with my sister, but my husband, my girls, my nephews, and my parents will be there to support me, too, so I'm really looking forward to it.  My goal is to finish the race in less than 45 minutes - I think, I can do it.  But if I can't I'll still be proud of myself just for doing the race and finishing it, and finish it I will!

**Day 194**

I focused on eating light today after my very bad day of eating yesterday, and I drank lots of water.  My back was sore when I woke up - probably from all the running I did last night, so I didn't do any running today.  I did take a nice, long walk - the weather here was awesome today, so it was a great walk!  Also, I used the dumbbells for a good workout on my arms - they are still flabby, but I'm going to keep using the dumbbells, and hope for the best!

We were shopping at Target today, and I, unexpectedly, caught a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror....not good.  It was from the side, and it just was such a bummer to see.  My hair was up, so I noticed my damn, ugly camel hump on the back of my neck, and I noticed my SHORT chubby legs, and I noticed my tummy rolls.  I have so far to go!!  I wonder if I'll ever like what I see when I look in the mirror?   Seeing myself in the mirror did make me walk alot faster on my walk, so, I guess, some good came out of it!

I have a reception to go to on Saturday, and my plan is to wear a dress.  I haven't worn a dress in YEARS!  I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to actually wear the dress, but we'll see.  I'm going to try the whole outfit on tomorrow, and make a decision.  IF I do end up wearing I will take a picture, and post it....well, maybe.

**Still Day 193**

Well, my day is ending on a positive note.  I went out for a 3 mile run/walk and, I think, I did a good job.  It took me 47:11 to complete the 3 miles.  And I only had to walk for 9 minutes - the rest was all running, well, jogging!  This is what I did:

Run 10 min.
Walk 3 min.
Run 10 min.
Walk 3 min.
Run 10 min.
Walk 3 min.
Run (about) 8 min....

and then I was done with the 3 miles.  No, I didn't do a whole 5K, which is 3.1 miles, but I was close.  And I probably could have done the 3 miles a little faster, but my daughter went with me, and she had to stop to mess with her shoes about 4 times, so I had to stop with her, and run in place.  Anyway, I'm happy that I was able to run more than I had to walk!!  Yay!

**Day 193**

Today was not a good day for me.  In fact, it, totally, sucked.  I woke up to my girls fighting, and the day went downhill from there.  I'm still not 100% from my night of partying over the weekend - I'm tired, and just off.  To be honest, I was a little bummed that no one at the party noticed that I had lost 30 pounds.  I hate to be needy like that, but I hadn't seen most of those people since losing the weight, and I was hoping someone would notice.  I know, since I'm so big, it will probably take losing like 50 pounds before people will notice any weight loss.  Anyway, I let my emotions get the best of me today, and I ate like crap!!  I had a cheeseburger and fries from McDonalds.  I had a soft serve chocolate ice cream cone from Dairy Queen.  I had a hot mocha drink from Caribou.  I shared an appetizer, stuffed flounder, mashed potatoes, and cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster w/ my husband.  Yup, I went on a total binge.  I feel like crap - emotionally, mentally, and physically, but I won't be eating like this again.  I won't continue on this path - I promise.  Right now, I'm heading out to try a 5K run/walk.  I'm sure it's not going to go all that great with all this awful food I have in my body, but I'm going to give it a try anyway.

**Days 190, 191, & 192**

This is the first time I've been on my computer since Friday!  We were gone for the weekend, but I didn't take my computer with me.  We went to my best friend's 40th birthday party.  We rented a party bus, and went bar hopping until 4am!  We had a great time, but going out and partying like a 20 year old in an almost 40 year old body doesn't really work anymore!  By the time I arrived home last night I could barely function, so forming any thoughts to do a blog post was out of the question.  My whole body is sore - it feels like someone whooped my ass!  Jeez, getting older is no fun sometimes.  Anyway, I don't think my body can handle a run tonight, but I'm going to do a light treadmill workout, and see how that goes.  My brain is still fuzzy, so I've got nothing interesting to talk about it......but do I ever, really? I know I don't have the most exciting blog around! :-\  Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow!

**Day 189**

I didn't post my weigh-in this morning because I was so bummed about it:

That's half a pound lost since last week's weigh-in.  I was hoping for more, and I was really frustrated when I saw that number, but a couple of friends helped me to put things in perspective.  They reminded me that the numbers are going down, and they reminded me that I'm noticing changes in my body, and that my clothes are getting looser, and I needed that little pep talk (thanks, ladies!), so I do feel better.  I have a hard time not getting hung up on the numbers, but I'm trying to get past it.   Anyway, I DID lose this week, so I'm not going to complain.

I did a 30 minute walk/run combo (1.0 incline) treadmill workout this morning:


Tonight I'll do my outdoor run, and my goal is to run for, at least, 30 minutes without stopping!  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!!!

**Day 188**

We took the girls into Chicago tonight to see Peter Pan - it was so good!  I love Broadway in Chicago!!  Anyway, if you haven't heard of Peter Pan 360 you can check it out here: http://www.peterpantheshow.com/#/video  We had a great time!

Exercise today was a 40 minute treadmill workout.  I did the whole workout at a 1.0 incline - might not sound like much, but ouch!  My thighs were sore before I was even done with the workout!  I did a 5 min. warmup walk, and a 5 min. cool down walk, and the rest of the workout was a walking and running combo.  I would walk for 3 minutes (3.5 - 3.8 MPH), and then run for 2 minutes (4.0 - 5.0 MPH), I alternated doing this combo for 30 min., and I burned 313 calories, so not bad!


I'll be weighing in first thing in the morning - I'm hoping to be at 217!  Keeping my fingers crossed!

**Day 187**

So, my run/walk went better tonight....not great, but better.  I went 2.5 miles and it took me 36 minutes.  I ran for 22 minutes without stopping (which was 1.5 miles), then I walked for 3 minutes, and then ran for another 5 minutes, and then walked the rest of the way.  I was pretty happy about running the 1.5 miles without stopping - it's the first time I've gone that far without stopping, so I'm improving.  I'll try to go even further on Friday.  I'm, actually, starting to look forward to the 5K race.  I think, it's going to be a huge challenge for me to get through it, but I know I can do it, and I'll be so proud of myself when I cross that finish line!

**Still Day 186**

My 5K didn't happen.  I did about 1.5 miles, which took me about 21 minutes, but I only ran about 6 minutes of it, and then walked the rest.  I know what's going on....the closer the race gets the more I'm freaking out.  I'm letting it mess with my head - I'm afraid I won't be able to run much of the race, I'm afraid I'll come in dead last, I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself, but I need to stop this negative thinking, and just run.  I know I can run longer than 6 minutes because I've done it before.  The race is only a couple weeks away, and I need to get myself in the right frame of mind.  I have to quit worrying, and just do it!!  So, tomorrow night I'm going to get out there with a better attitude, and run again!  I can, and will, do better!

**Day 186**

So far, so good today on my goals.  I'm right on with my water and food.  And I already got some exercise in - I did the 30 Day Shred, and I hopped on my treadmill for a bit:

5 min. warm-up walk:

1 mile run at 4.5 mph:

Ended w/ a 5 min. cool down walk:

So, I figure with the 30 Day Shred, and the treadmill workout I burned around 350 calories.  Not bad!

Tonight I'm going to do a 5K run/walk outside.  I'm going to try to run most of it, but we'll see how it goes.

I just have to mention the Casey Anthony trial - I can't believe she was found not guilty!!  I believe, she killed her little girl, and now she's going to walk with no punishment.  So, so sad.

**Day 185**

I enjoyed my weekend....a little too much!  I allowed myself a few too many treats, and I didn't exercise, at all.  This is the first time this year that I've let myself get this far off track, for so many days.  I have no excuses, and I don't really have any explanations either.  I should probably try to figure it out so I can avoid falling into the lazy pit again, but I'm just going to move on.  Yes, I let myself get derailed for a few days, and maybe it's just something I needed to do - I don't know, but I'm ready to get back to it.

Goals for the week:

*Drink, at least, 96 oz of water daily
*Consume only 1200 calories per day
*Run/walk a 5K Tues., Wed., Fri., & Sun.
*Treadmill walk/run Thurs.
*30 Day Shred Tues. & Thurs.
*Firm dvd Wed. & Fri.

**Days 182, 183, & 184**

We're at our cabin for the 4th of July, and this is the first time I've been on the computer all weekend!  I can't remember the last time I stayed away from my computer for so long!  Anyway, we are having a very nice weekend, and it's not over yet - yay!  I love long weekends!  So, I'm going to get back to enjoying my time with my family, and I'll get back to my blogging tomorrow night.  I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend with your family, and friends!