**Day 181**

I did it - I am below 220!!  Today's weight:

Yay!!!  I lost 2.5 pounds this week!  And I am out of the 220's FOREVER!

At the beginning of the month I was 222, and, at one point, I had a big gain and went up to 226, so I'm happy that I was able to get rid of that gain, and then lose another 3 pounds.  So, I can't complain about my 3 pound loss this month.  I'm just very happy to, FINALLY, be out of the 220's!!!

I've lost 29.5 pounds over the last 6 months (click on pic to enlarge):

I started this year at 248.5, and after 29.5 pounds lost I do some visual changes, but I can't wait to see more.  I want my double chin gone, I want tummy rolls to go away, I want to see some definition in my legs!  So, I can't wait to see what I look after I lose another 30 pounds.

I'll be posting my monthly progress pics in a bit - they'll be in "July 2011" at the right, under "Pictures & Pounds Lost".  Sadly, I don't see much of a change from last month. :(

**Day 180**

Total fail today on the exercise!  Actually, I failed on two things today.  I  had planned on exercising, and getting my whole house cleaned, but neither of those things happened.  My girls and I met up with our homeschool group for book club.  After book club, my girls were invited to their friend's house for a playdate.  So, with no kids for a few hours I had plenty of time to go home to get my exercising and cleaning done, but I decided to go spend some time with my sister and my nephews instead, and I had a very, nice afternoon with them.  Afterwards, I picked up the girls and then headed home to make dinner.  Right after dinner, I headed to Walmart, and didn't get home until about 8:30.  Finally, my thoughts turned to exercising, and the thought I had was - not going to happen.  Normally, I would fight off that thought, but tonight I didn't.  I looked at my hubby and girls cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, and thought - I just want to sit, and hang out with them.  So, that's what I did.

On a more positive note, my eating and water were right on today!

Tomorrow is my final weigh-in for June!  Let's hope my decision to not exercise today doesn't bite me in the ass!

**Day 179**

Exercise today:  30 Day Shred, Level 3. Yup, I moved up to Level 3!  I had to stick with the modified moves, but I got through it - yay!  I, also, did a treadmill workout: 5 min. warm-up walk, 1 mile run at 4.2 mph, which took me 14:15, then I did a 1 mile walk/run, which took me about 16 min., and then I finished up with a 5 min. cool-down walk.  So, I figure, I burned, at least, 400 calories during my workouts today.  Not bad, at all.

Tomorrow night I'm going to try another run outside, and, hopefully, it will go better than my Monday night run, but I'm not going to put too much pressure on myself.  I think, I kind of psych myself out a little bit on my outdoor runs, so I need to relax, and just do what I can.

I hope you all had a good day!

**Day 178**

My first 5K race is only 24 days away, and, to be honest, I'm very nervous about it!  I don't think I'm going to be able to run the whole thing without stopping, which I really wanted to be able to do, but I'm just not there yet.   I guess, I have to be okay with that.  I will run as much of it as I can, but when I need to walk I will.

My run tonight was....well, not much of a run.  I felt like crap, and I started walking after about 6 minutes.  I don't know what was going on....maybe I was just tired, maybe it's because I started my period today, maybe it was too hot, or maybe I'm just making excuses!  I just didn't have it in me to run tonight - physically or mentally. So, I ran for 6 minutes, and then I walked for 25 minutes - even the walking was a killer for me.  And by the time I got home my fingers, toes, and ankles were  so swollen.  Check out my fingers:

Trust me - they don't usually look like this!  Oh my gosh, they hurt so bad!  But I've been drinking water since I got back from my walk, and the swelling has gone down, a little.  I didn't get any other exercise in today - I should have, but I didn't.  I will do better tomorrow!

**Days 176 & 177**

We went to the cabin this weekend, and I decided to leave my computer at home, so that's why I didn't post yesterday.  It was kind of nice being computer-free for almost two, whole days!  I admit to being a little addicted to being on the computer, so it's good for me to get away from it sometimes.

So, only four more days left in June!  I'll do my final weigh-in for June on Thursday, and I'll be posting my progress pics, too.  I can't believe I'm already six months into my weight-loss journey!  I feel like I should be further along - I thought I would have lost more weight by now, but I'm not going to complain about my 27 pounds lost.  Yes, the weight is coming off slow, but slow and steady is okay.  I'll get all the weight off - I know I will!!

**Still Day 175**

Confession #5 - I once got stuck in our pool because I was too fat to get out!  (Tonight, I'm confessing about a few embarrassing things I've struggled through while being obese.)  Anyway, at our old house we had an above ground pool with a deck built up to it.  The ladder to get out of the pool was, loosely, attached to the deck.  One day, I decided to take a swim while my daughter was napping.  After enjoying my swim, I started to climb the ladder to get out, and the dang ladder fell right into the pool!!  And then I couldn't get the ladder attached to the deck again!! Below is a picture of the pool we had, but the ladder isn't in the picture because we took it out when we weren't using the pool.

Now, it might look like it would be easy to get out of this pool without a ladder, but for a 280 pound person....not so much.  I could not get out!  I tried pulling myself up and out with my arms, but I just couldn't do it.  I tried swinging one leg up on the deck to get out, but that didn't work.  Yup, I was stuck in the pool!!!  Lucky for me, and for my napping daughter in the house, my husband was due home any minute, so I never did panic, but it sure was a humiliating feeling to know I couldn't get out just because I was fat!  So, yea, my hubby got home to save me before our daughter woke up from her nap, but I never did take a swim again unless there was another adult in the house!

Another time, I was at my parent's house babysitting my twin nephews, and my daughters were there with me, too.  At the time, my parent's house was about 45 minutes from my home.  My parents and my sister weren't there - it was just me and the kids.  Well, my nephew, Luc, threw up all over me.  Of course, I didn't bring extra clothes w/ me, and I was 45 min. from my house, so running home wasn't an option.  I decided to borrow a t-shirt and sweatpants from my dad, while my clothes were in the wash - well, somehow I forgot that I outweighed my dad by about 70 pounds, so when I tried to squeeze myself into his XL shirt, and probably size M or L sweatpants it didn't work....not even close.  I don't know why I thought I would be able to fit into his clothes!  Again, it was a humiliating experience!  I had to hang out, with four little kids, wearing only my bra and underwear, until my clothes were finished washing and drying.  I never went over there to babysit again without taking an extra change of clothes!

What else?  Oh, when I was at my highest weight (in the 280's) my hubby would help me put on my socks and shoes because it was so hard for me to do myself.  I swear, it would feel like I was going to pass out when I tried to do it.  Of course, when the hubby wasn't home I would do it, but if he was there he did it to save me the agony!

Being obese has, definitely, been hard!  I mean, I used to even have trouble just reaching around to scratch an itch on my butt!!!  Thankfully, things are getting easier for me, but I'll never forget those times, which is a good thing because, hopefully, it will keep me from ever going back to being that big again!!

**Day 175**

When I weighed in two weeks I was 226, and on Monday I weighed in at 224, and today when I stepped on the scale this is the number I saw:

That's 4.5 pounds since my last "official" weigh-in two weeks ago.  Yes, I'm still in my 220's, but, at least, the number is going back down after that damn 4.5 gain I had at the very beginning of the month.  I'm going to try to be out of my 220's by July, and that's what I'm going to focus on - 219 by June 30th!  So, I'll need to lose 2.5 pounds in less than a week, which seems unrealistic, I guess, but I'm going to continue with the high protein meal plan, and see what happens.

Okay, I need to get off the computer, for now!  I'm taking my girls on an outing with our homeschool group.

Have a great day!

**Day 174**

Confession #4 - For a long time, I preferred the company of food over people.  I'm sure this is no big surprise - I think, it's a very common issue for obese people, or anyone dealing with food issues.  Anyway, there was a time when all I could think about was food - morning, noon, and night.  I would wake up, and think about what I was going to eat.  While I was eating my not-even-close to healthy breakfast, I would be thinking about what I was going to have for lunch, AND then dinner.  When I was in bed at night, I would be thinking about what I was going to eat the next day.  I didn't want to be with people - I just wanted to be alone to eat.  I used to hide food from my hubby.  I would go grocery shopping, and buy something, like a box of Swiss Cake Rolls, and then hide it in the car.  I would pretend to watch TV with my hubby, but, really, I was thinking about the Swiss Cake Rolls in the car.  I would, sometimes, even try to get my hubby to go to bed early!  I would start in with the - "Oh, Babe, you look so tired - you should go to bed early tonight!"....yea, I was pretty pathetic.  Once he went to bed I would run for that box of Swiss Cake Rolls - there were times I ate the whole box in one sitting, I swear.  The whole thing was sick.  I should have been cherishing the time with my hubby, but, nope, I just wanted him out of the way so I could eat.  So sad.  This scenario played out in my home more times than I care to admit, but I'm happy to say that I'm not doing this anymore, and I haven't for a long time, and I hope I never get to such a low point again.

Exercise today:  30 Day Shred, and another treadmill workout - 1 mile walk w/ some running bursts, and then a 1 mile run.

Tomorrow morning is weigh-in, and I don't think I'll be below 220, but, I think, I'll be close!

**Day 173**

WARNING:  This post is about sex (kind of), so you might not want to read it.  Dad, you, definitely, don't need to read it, so X out of the blog, right now!

Confession #3 - I haven't seen my husband during sex in years!  Since becoming obese I am a lights out only gal!  No lights allowed, and, I mean, it's gotta be pitch black.  Seriously, sometimes it can take up to 30 seconds for me and the hubby to find each other.  And that's not all - I have to have a sheet, completely, wrapped around my mid-section during sex because the thought of all my fat rolls touching my husband makes me cringe.  It's ridiculous, I know, and my husband thinks I'm crazy, but I can't get past it.  And I won't even get into the positions I won't do anymore because of how self-conscious I am, and, well, because some positions just aren't as easy as they were when I was thinner!  So, for almost 14 years, my hubby has had to put up with this nonsense from me!  Gosh, he's a good guy!  But it's so wrong that I've put us through this - I guess, it just goes to show how low my self-esteem is.  I need to learn to love myself as I am, but it's hard.  I hope, as I continue to lose weight, I'll get the courage to, at least, turn a night-light on.  And I'm sure my hubby can't wait for me to be more adventurous, again.....actually, I can't wait either!

**Day 172**

Confession #2 - I couldn't have another baby because I was obese.  Yes, PCOS can lead to infertility, but if I had fought harder to control my weight I may have been able to get pregnant again.  I did have PCOS when when we had our eldest daughter, but I became pregnant with no problem - my doctor later said that it was "just a fluke" that I got pregnant, at all. WTF?  Anyway, when I got pregnant the first time I probably weighed around 215, but when I tried to have a second baby I was about 240, and it just wasn't happening for us.  I knew losing some weight might make it easier to get pregnant, and I did try to lose, but I just couldn't do it.  I wanted another baby more than anything, but I still couldn't take the weight off - physically, mentally, or emotionally.  It doesn't make sense, I know.

So, we tried to get pregnant for three years - for two and half of those years we did fertility treatments.  My hubby gave me shots in the butt, and I took other drugs by mouth.  I had my blood taken, I had transvaginal ultrasounds, I had IUI's - more times than I can count, but nothing worked.  I, sometimes, felt like I was going to lose my mind - it was such an emotional roller coaster.  And finding support was hard.  People would say, "Well, at least, you have one child!"  People would say, "Secondary infertility is easier to handle than Primary infertility!".  Yes, we were lucky enough to have one child, and I WAS grateful for that, but we wanted another one, and I didn't think we were being selfish for wanting to add to our family.  Anyway, I got to the point where I couldn't do one more fertility treatment.  Our insurance would have paid for IVF, but I was done.

In January of 2004 we decided to adopt internationally - we picked the country of Ukraine and in July of 2004 we left for Ukraine to find our next daughter.  We found our daughter in an orphanage in Donetsk, Ukraine.  Here are some pics of that time (almost 7 years ago).  Click on pics to enlarge:

We were in Ukraine for 17 days.  We arrived back in the states on Aug. 17, 2004 - Aubree was 16 months old.  Today, she is 8 years old:

So, yea, I may have been able to get pregnant again if I had lost weight, but, I guess, there was a reason I couldn't bring myself to do it.  It turned out we were meant to go halfway around the world to find our second child, and I wouldn't change that for anything!  Today, our family is complete with two beautiful, healthy girls:

Exercise today:  30 Day Shred Level 2, and then I worked out on the treadmill.  I did a 1 mile walk with some interval running bursts:

Then I ran 1 mile:

Then I finished up with a slow 5 min. cool down:

So, the I burned 287 calories on the treadmill.  I'm not sure what I burned doing Level 2 of the Shred - maybe 150 calories?  Not that much?  I don't know, but I feel like I got a good workout in today.

Oh, I almost forgot to update about my 2 mile run last night! Well, it ended up being a 1.5 mile run, but by the end I was barely running!  It just was not a good run for me, but I'll try again tomorrow night!

**Day 171**

Confession #1 - I have to shave my face every single day.  I have hirsutism, which is a symptom of my PCOS - "polycystic ovarian syndrome is the most common identifiable cause of hirsutism".  Man, I hate PCOS!!  The fact that I have to shave, like a man, every day is humiliating, but I have to do it - if I didn't I would be sporting a mustache and beard.  It's hard to feel like a woman when by mid day I have a 5 o'clock shadow going.  I hate when anyone gets too close to me because I don't want them looking at my face because when your close enough it's clear to see that I shave.  I've tried to let the hair grow long enough to wax, but it's so coarse I couldn't even wax it off.  My doctor wanted to prescribe Vaniqa cream to slow the growth, but the small tube of cream is almost $200/ month - out of pocket.  And laser treatments would cost even more than that, so I'm stuck with shaving.   So, why am I sharing this information about myself?  Well, this blog is about my struggles w/ obesity, and I want to be honest about every struggle I face, so, yea, some of my confessions may be a little too much information for some of you, but it's my blog and I'll say what I want to!!  Did that sound childish?  Well....too bad!  It's my blog, and I'll be childish if I want to!! :-)

So far, today, I've done the 30 Day Shred, and I walked 1 mile on my treadmill.  Tonight, when it gets dark, I will attempt the run 2 miles! Wish me luck!

Update:  I forgot to mention that I weighed myself this morning - 224!  My last weigh-in number was 226, so I managed to lose 2 pounds while I was away at our cabin for 9 days!  Yay!

**Day 170**

We had a great time vacationing at our cabin last week, but I'm happy to be back home!  I'm ready to get back into my routine here.  I'm going to work on a high protein meal plan this week - I'm hoping this will help move me out of the 220's!  My body hasn't been responding to what I've been eating, so I want to try something a little different.

My 5K race is only 5 weeks away, and the closer it gets the more nervous I get!  So far, I've only run 1 mile outside, so, obviously, I need to start doing more.  I'm going to try to bump it up to 2 miles this week.  I think, it will be really hard for me, but I can get through it. So, here are my fitness goals for this week:

M, W, F - Run 2 miles, Walk 1 mile, 30 Day Shred
T, Th - Treadmill 30 min., Elliptical 20 min., FIRM dvd
Sat. - Walk 2 miles, 30 Day Shred

We had a very nice Father's Day today!  My hubby is the best - he's a wonderful father and husband!

I hope you all had a great Sunday with your families!!

**Days 168 & 169**

Our girls were at day camp all week - Arts & Science in the Woods.  It is one of the coolest camps ever!  Around 500 kids attend camp every day for one week, Monday - Friday, from 9am - 3pm.  They pick one major class, and four minor classes to take throughout the week.  They attend their major classes everyday from 9am - noon, and then they do their minor classes in the afternoon.  The kids choose from more than 60 areas of interest, and the teachers are wonderful!  Some teachers come from places as far away as California, and even India to teach classes (the camp in located in Illinois).  And what's really cool is that the whole camp (and all the classes) take place outside in the woods!!  Anyway, our daughter, Brenna, chose Recycled Rhythms for her major.  Each child made their own drum out of recycled items, and then spent the week practicing for Friday performances.  Our daughter, Aubree, chose Clay Creations for her major.  She spent the week making lots of great clay art.  Both my girls LOVED all of their classes.  Last night was Family Night at the camp, so we were able to walk around the camp to see what our girls did all week, and we watched our daughter Brenna perform in the drum show with her class.  After Family Night we went to a friend's house, and we didn't get home until late, so I didn't get a chance to do a blog post yesterday.  Here are some pics from the camp (click on collage to enlarge):

I didn't get any exercise in yesterday, but today I ran 1 mile, walked 1 mile, and did the 30 Day Shred.

On Monday I'm going to start one week of "Fat Confessions" - every day I will confess one thing about my life as a fat person.  Tune in!

**Day 167**

We've been at our cabin for seven days now, and I'm pretty happy with the food choices I've been making.  Yes, we did go out for pizza last night, but, for the most part, I've been staying on track w/ my calories, and it hasn't been that difficult, which is a relief.  I think, I mentioned in a previous post that I pretty much lived on Velveeta Cheese/Rotel dip w/ chips last summer.  Seriously, I had it for lunch AND dinner most days - so awful!  I mean, what a poor, poor example I was setting for my kids!  How did I think that was okay?!  Anyway, there has not been (and will not be) any Velveeta consumed by me - I've learned my lesson!  Our fridge and cabinets are stocked w/ healthy foods, and snacks.  I've been exercising every day since Monday - thanks to this sweet girl who got me back on track!:

So, I'm feeling good about this week.  I won't be doing my weigh-in tomorrow because I didn't bring my scale to the cabin, and I'm kind of glad I decided to leave it at home.  I think, it's good that I only have my food choices, and exercising to focus on this week, and not the number on the scale.  I'll get back to my weigh-ins next Friday, and I'm confident I will be out of the 220's by then!

**Day 166**

This is going to be a quick post - it's after 10pm, and I'm exhausted, so I want to get to bed!  Anyway, we went out w/ friends tonight for pizza.  I know, I know - pizza is so bad for you!  I only had one and a half slices, but with pizza there really is no "only" because it has so many calories and fat!  Honestly, it tasted great, but I, immediately, felt like crap (physically) when I was done eating, so was it worth it?  Probably not.  Especially, because I had to come straight home and do my 1 mile run, and running on a pizza full tummy sucked.  I threw up in my mouth a little bit on the run - yea, totally, gross, but it's the truth!  Somehow, I managed to finish the run, and then walk a half mile cool down, but, wow, it was hard to get through.  I'm still having alot of trouble with my breathing when I run - I just can't get it right.  Should I breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth?  Should I breath in through my mouth AND out through my mouth?  Or is it just what works best for me?  The problem is - neither one is working for me!  Hopefully, I'll get it figured out soon.

I've got nothing else for tonight.  I hope you are all having a good week!

**Day 165**

When I shop for clothes I, usually, don't try anything on in the store - I just buy it, bring it home, and if it doesn't fit, or I don't like it, I return it.  Well, today I went shopping, and I decided to hit the fitting room - big mistake.  I got a glimpse of my body in a three way mirror, and it was so not good.  Seriously, those mirrors should be illegal!  Banned, I tell ya!  I don't have a full length mirror at home, so I NEVER see my body, and, I think, for now, it's a good thing that I don't!  When I saw my body in that mirror I was reminded how far I still have to go, and, yes, I knew this, of course - I mean, I didn't think that losing 25 pounds had transformed my body, in any major way, but it was still a huge eye opener when I saw my whole body from head to toe!  So, yea, I have a long, long way to go, and, in the mean time, I won't be stripping down to my bra and underwear in front of any three way mirrors!

So, I could have let the three way mirror fiasco put me into another funk, but I didn't.  Actually, it motivated me. I came home, and I did the 30 Day Shred and then I did a 2 mile WATP the workout. I used 2 pound weights for the whole 2 mile workout, and it really kicked my butt, but I felt great when I was done!

**Days 163 & 164**

I couldn't post last night because we couldn't get the internet to connect out here at the cabin - sometimes it's impossible to get a signal, but, luckily, it connected today!  Anyway....

So, I said I wasn't going to give up on this whole weight loss journey thing, but I did....for 3 whole days.  My food choices weren't all that bad, but I didn't exercise Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.  I lost all my motivation, and just gave up, but my 10 year old daughter got me going again.  As I was tucking her into bed last night this conversation took place:


Daughter:  "Mama, did you exercise today?"
Me:  "No."
Daughter:  "Did you exercise yesterday?"
Me:  "No, I didn't.  And I didn't exercise on Friday either."
Daughter:  "Aren't you suppose to keep exercising?" 
Me:  "Yes, I am."
Daughter:  "Well, what happened, Mama?  You were doing so good?"

Ouch.  Wow.  Kids don't miss a thing - they notice everything!  My girl noticed when I started to take care of myself, and she noticed when I stopped again.  So, in the end, I told her that I was feeling frustrated and discouraged, and I went into a slump, but that giving up was the wrong thing for Mama to do, and then I promised her I was going to get back to my exercising.  I thanked her for caring enough to ask me about it, and I thanked her for giving me the motivation I need to get started again.  Yes, I'm losing this weight for myself, but I'm, also, doing it for my girls because I want to set a good example for them.

So, I kept my promise!  Today I did the 30 Day Shred, and I ran one mile, and walked another half mile. And when I was done, my daughter said:  "I'm proud of you, Mama.  You did good." ......  if that doesn't keep me going, I don't know what will?!

**Day 162**

So, yesterday was a very bad day for me /w the 4.5 gain, but I'm feeling a little better today.....but not 100%.  I know it's wrong, but sometimes I just miss the carefree way I used to live - eating whatever I wanted to eat and not having to plan every meal ahead of time, not worrying about giving into temptations, not worrying about fitting exercise into my day, not worrying about weigh-ins....you know what I mean?  I know, I know - living that way was not good for me, but, jeez, in some ways it felt alot less stressful than how I'm living now.  I know I'm only feeling this way because I'm frustrated.  Needing to lose 120 pounds sometimes feels like an impossible thing to do, especially when I have a confusing 5 pound gain, but I know at the end of this long journey, when I reach my goal (and I will), all the blood, sweat, and tears (the many, many tears) will be worth it!  I have about 100 more pounds to lose, and I know there will be struggles and I know there will be frustration along the way, but there will, also, be successes and satisfaction, and I need to remember to focus on the good stuff!

**Day 161**

A 4.5 gain.  What. The. Hell? When I saw that number this morning I was very, very upset.  I cried.  I felt confused.  I felt mad.  I felt defeated.  I felt tired.  I thought - I give up.  But that was at 9am this morning, and now it's 10:00pm, and I'm feeling much less....confused, mad, defeated, and tired.  I'm not, exactly, sure what's going on.  I drank tons of water, I exercised every day, I kept my calories below 1500 (except for Thursday - I was just over 1600), so I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing, but I had a gain....a HUGE gain.  I'm disappointed.  I've been in my 220's since April, and I just want to get into the teens!!

So, what's my plan?  Well, my friend just started a high protein meal plan, and she's already had a loss, so I'm going to give the plan a try to see if I can get my numbers moving down.  I will NOT give up!!

Have a great weekend!

**Still Day 160**

I almost forgot.....I want to say thank you to my dad for paying for half my treadmill!!!  I didn't win the bet we had, but he gave me the money anyway.  He wrote in the memo section of the check "just because"!  He told me he wanted to give me the money just because he's proud of me for working so hard, and sticking with it.  So, thank you, Dad, for all your support!!  Thank you for believing in me, thank you for all your comments on my blog, thank you for the motivating words you give me - THANK YOU!  I love you!

**Day 160**

We're leaving for our cabin tomorrow afternoon, and we'll be there for 9 nights and 9 days, so it's going to be a challenge for me to stick to a healthy meal plan and exercise routine.  It shouldn't matter that I'm somewhere different, right?  I mean, after 160 days of, almost always, eating healthy, and exercising I should be able to do it anywhere, but when I'm at our cabin I tend to get lazy.  I like to just relax - sit around reading, float in the lake, chill on the front porch, and, of course, I like to snack alot.  I know I can still do that stuff, but I need to be active, too, so I'm going to do my very best to get my exercise in every day, and I'm going to keep my snacking to a minimum!!  I'm going stock up on healthy snacks - like fruit w/ light cool whip, popcorn, raw veggies w/ hummus, yogurt w/ a little granola...stuff like that.

I'm debating on whether or not to take my scale to the cabin.  I think, it will drive me crazy not having it for 9 days, and I would have to skip one weigh-in, if I leave it home, but it might be nice to be scale free for all those days.  I don't know - what to do, what to do?

Exercise today:  2 miles on the treadmill - 1 mile walk, and 1 mile walk/run, doing interval burst.  Also, I did a 20 min. FIRM dvd workout.  

I'm still battling this headache that I've had for a few days.  I've been drinking tons of water hoping it would help my headache go away, but no luck so far.  I HATE these headaches!!  My 10 year old daughter was so sweet to me yesterday.  I was getting ready to take my girls, and my nephews to a movie, but she knew I had a terrible headache, and she said to me: "Mama, it's really okay if we skip the movie because I'm afraid the loud noise will make your headache worse, so let's just stay home".  She is such a good girl!  I took them anyway and I was fine, but it was nice that she cared enough to give me a choice.  I have great kids!

**Day 159**

I just finished the 30 Day Shred workout - just in time to do my post for today!  I, also, did my 1 mile run tonight - it was so hot, but I got through it.  It took me almost 14:30 to finish, so only a tiny bit longer than Mondays run.  I had a lot of trouble with my breathing on the run tonight, but my body felt good, so that's a plus.  I think, it's suppose to start cooling off the next few days - thank goodness!  This hot weather is a killer!

This is totally off the weight loss topic, but I have to share some news about my oldest daughter!  She auditioned for the musical "Annie", and she landed the part of Miss Hannigan!!  She is so excited, and we are so happy for her!!  She's going to be great!!

**Day 158**

Oh my gosh, it was hot out today!!  I spent a total of 20 minutes outside, and came in with the worst headache!  It doesn't take much for the heat to, negatively, affect me.  Thankfully, I didn't have to run outside today - I don't think I would have survived it!  Today was a treadmill workout - I did 2 miles.  I walked 1 mile, and then the second mile I alternated walking and running, doing some interval bursts.  I really enjoy it.  I, also, did some strength training for my arms using dumbbells.  I really want to try to firm up these flabby arms of mine!

I'm having a hard time staying motivated to do the 30 Day Shred every single day because, well, it's a little boring doing the same workout every day.  Don't get me wrong, it's a challenge, and a great workout, but I have such a hard time getting myself motivated to do it every day.  I don't know, maybe I'm just making excuses not to do it, but my new plan is to do the Shred every other day, and do my new FIRM dvd on the other days.  So, for the rest of this month my goal is to do the Shred Mon., Wed., Fri., and the FIRM Tues., Thurs., Sat. - Sundays I won't be doing any dvd workouts.

It's going to be another hot day tomorrow, and I'll have to do my run outside, but, hopefully, it won't be so bad around 9pm when I, usually, go out to do the run.  What about you?  Is it hard for you to exercise on very hot days?

**Day 157**

Tonight my family joined me on my run.  My girls ran off ahead, and they ran the mile with ease!  They were running side-by-side, laughing and talking.  My husband was a sweetie, and stayed back with me.  I felt like crap through the whole run!  My breathing was terrible, and it made the run hard.  I was so happy to see my house at the end of the run!  It took me 14:18 to run the mile.  Yea, I know - some people can walk a mile faster than I run it, but I know I'll get faster, and I'm going to spend the rest of this week working on improving my time.  Anyway, when I was done with the run my knees were really hurting (still are), and I just didn't have anything left (physically or mentally) to do the 30 Day Shred.

I keep saying that I need to start getting my dvd workouts over with in the morning, but I haven't followed through with it yet.  I, almost always, do my workouts at night, and, I think, after a long day it's harder for me (physically and mentally) to get through the workouts - I do it, but it's a struggle!  So, once again, I'm going to try to get on a morning schedule for my dvd workouts, and my treadmill workouts.  For now, I'm going to continue doing my outdoor running at night.  Even though it's hard, I'm really enjoying the running, and I can't wait for it to get easier.....it will get easier, right?

**Day 156**

As soon as I took off on my 1 mile run tonight I felt tired, sluggish, and drained!  My first thought was - I'm never going to make it a mile without stopping!  But I, immediately, switched off that bad thought, and told myself - yes, you CAN run this whole mile. Do it.  Keep going.  Finish it.  And I did!  It feels good to push myself through things.  That's a new thing for me.  I like it.  So, anyway, I got my run in today, and I did the 30 Day Shred.  

I want to be out of the 220's by Friday, so I'm going to work my butt of this week!!  

**Day 155**

Exercise today: 30 Day Shred.  Yup, that's it.  I didn't get my 2 mile walk, but, at least, I did something, and something is better than nothing! :)  The truth is I'm really tired, and I just want a break, so I skipped the walking today.  I'll be back at it tomorrow, for sure!

We had a great day at our cabin!  I love spending time with my family here.  My husband built this cabin for us. It's a very special place for us, and we cherish our time here.  Here are some pics of our day (click to enlarge):

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend!

**Day 154**

I've lost a half pound since I weighed in on Tuesday:

I would love to be below 220 for my weigh-in next Friday, so I'll need to lose 2.5 pounds - hopefully, I'll be able to do it!  I haven't had a big loss in awhile, so maybe next week will be the week!

Today, I'll be doing the 30 Day Shred - Level 1, and, also, I'll be running 1 mile outside without stopping, and then I plan on walking another mile when I'm done w/ my run.

Yesterday, on the treadmill I did cardio intervals.  I would walk at 3.8 mph for 3 minutes, and then run at 4.2 mph for 2 minutes, and then repeat - I did that for 30 minutes.  I think, I'm going to start trying some short burst intervals - maybe run at 5 mph (fast for me!) for 30 sec. or 60 sec., and then go back to walking for a few minutes, and then do another burst.  Have you ever tried short-burst interval training?  If so, what did you like, or not like, about it?

**Day 153**

I haven't worn a dress in years!  Really, I can't even tell you the last time I had a dress on, but I bought one.  This is it:

It's a size 14/16, and it fits!  It's just a bit snug in the bust area, but I won't be wearing it until July 16th, so it will be fine.  I'll be wearing it to my cousin's reception.  The reception is at a restaurant, so it won't be a fancy reception, and, I think, this dress will work.  I bought these shoes to go with the dress:

I don't love, love the shoes, but they are super comfortable, and they look good with the navy color of the dress.  Anyway, it will be weird to wear a dress again, but, hopefully, I will feel comfortable, and be able to pull it off!

Exercise today - 30 Day Shred, and 30 min. on the treadmill
Total calories today - 1470
Water - 96 ounces

**Day 152**

Well, it seems like the warmer weather is here to stay, and I'm, mostly, okay with that, but I'm a little nervous about it, too, because I'm very self-conscious about what I wear during the summer months.  I prefer the fall, winter, and spring months because I can wear more clothing to cover up my problems areas!  You know - the arms are covered by long sleeves, the stomach is covered by big sweaters, the legs are covered by jeans, but if I wore that stuff during the summer months I would look pretty silly, and I would die of heat stroke!  So, even though I've lost a little over 25 pounds I'm still not all that comfortable wearing short sleeves, or capris, and, I'm, definitely, not ready to wear tanks and shorts, but, hopefully, by the end of the summer I'll feel more comfortable.

Today I did the 30 Day Shred, Level 1, and I did another 1 mile run without stopping!!!  YAY!!  Feels so good!!!